Saturday, December 11, 2010

Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
which Cannot be shaken but endures forever.
As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore.

Pslam 15: 1-2

Saturday, December 4, 2010


It hurts to be barren
When winter comes in all its iciness
And all I have turns to brown and falls away
Why do my roots not nourish me?
How will I survive without my leaves?

I have taken an ax to my own trunk
I have free climbed to new heights
I have conquered the world and made it mine
But here I wither and pass without my base
I must choose to grow tall instead of climb high

For I am beautiful, secure on the ground
The wind may blow through my branches
But I don’t ever move out of place
No storm can break me, no quake can rule me
For the colors that grace me show life through death

How Good is the News that I cannot be killed
For I will come awake with spring
But in death I am white with snow, covered in purity
As what has fallen away deteriorates
I will grow from the nourishment it gives

Good soil exists
I know this is true, and the truth I seek
Father grow me deep
Let life come from what I stand on
Father deeply grow me.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

the smartest thing i've ever learned
is that i don't have all the answers,
just a little light to call my own.

though it pales in comparison
to the overarching shadows,
a speck of light can reignite the sun
and swallow darkness whole.

-Emphasis- Sleeping at Last

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Romans 8: 38-39
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depths, not anything else in all of creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Friday, October 15, 2010

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

i would rather rest in your arms, than run free on my own.

Monday, August 30, 2010

It's strange how we as humans have a desire to systematize everything. As we pursue this goal we realize that this is where things stop making sense. How can we systematize a relationship?

Monday, August 16, 2010

I can listen.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Found myself praying for God to continue to be who he is. Really cool experience.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Are you ok with not defining who God is and not telling him what he can or can't do?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Sorry Its been so long

Alright, I'm super sorry its been so long since I've done a real blog post. I feel obligated to do one, though I really dunno if anyone even really reads this. But here it goes, I'm gonna try and write one.

Here's the thing. I'm burnt out of being here. I have learned a lot here in Eleuthera, and have had a good experience, I am just tired of it here and miss home. This is strange for me. I don't feel like I really ever get homesick, but that's the best description of the way I have felt the past 2ish weeks. The other thing is that it is nothing that anyone has done, nobody is causing me to feel this way, I just do. And that bothers me, I mean the fact that I dunno what is causing this feeling is troublesome to me extremely logical mind. Oh well. What can you do. Anyways, I'll be home in 9 days, and I am super stoked for it. Then theres a short break and its back off to Clemson. Talk about looking forward to something.

But here's what I guess I am going to write about tonight:

What I've learned this summer:

How to: use a jackhammer, use a power drill, use a skill saw, frame a roof, sheet a roof, shingle a roof, grout tile, mix cement, spearfish, make slideshow videos (sigh...), interact with teams, not get oneself stung by jellyfish when snorkeling, not get sunburned, stay super hydrated, and go hard on little bug spray.

I have not learned how to catch mice/rats the buggers are always getting away.

God has taught me several things.

First, he reinforced the extent to which my happiness needs to be found completely in him. Then he reminded me that it's not easy. It's amazing how feeling homesick makes this evident. However, I've also been reminded that Christianity is a life filled with suffering.
Initially, I had typed about how my life had been easy up to this point, but then I remembered that, well, my life has had its fair shares of trials, from family deaths to church struggles to change. But for whatever reason, despite the fact that in the scheme of things, the Bahamas should be one of the easier things I have had to deal with, it has been the hardest thing I have ever done. But Jesus did it with me.

I have also been shown through the scriptures that even if I don't feel like God is working in and around me, he is. (See the post about The Sheep and the Goats, then read the book of Ester and count how many times God is mentioned.)

I have been convicted about how I struggle with creating, pushing for, and striving for community. I know that I want community, I want it so bad. So bad. But I tend to sit around and idealize it instead of throw out my pride and speak the name of Jesus. I am seriously looking forward to combatting this problem at Clemson in, oh, 3 weeks. I definitely saw some of this in 1 John 1: 3-4, 7.

Finally, and by finally I mean I am tired of thinking and typing but have lots of other things to say, the spirit really has stressed the extent to which we, and by we I mean I, need to remember the Gospel. All the time. If I don't wake up and remember the way that Jesus loved/loves me, If I don't wake up and remember who I used to be, If I don't wake up and desire to know God personally, then I will not worship, nor love the rest of the world. Without the Gospel nothing I do has any value. Without this foundation, none of my other knowledge can mean anything, let alone be applied.

Hopefully what I have learned here can teach someone else something.


Song of the week:
Holland by Sufjan Stevens

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I have the best friends.

So basically, I have the best friends ever. When my home church arrived today, one of the best beached whales ever hands me a giant packet and says this is for you. And let me tell you, a giant packet of letters, pictures, tic tacs, and awesomeness is pretty awesome. I now have enough encouragement to last me the whole summer.

Basically, thank you everyone for overwhelming me with love, despite the fact that I can't even see you guys.

I really do long to see y'all soon, to talk about my trip, and to see how you guys have grown this summer.

How sweet is it that the body of Christ has no boundaries.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Yesterday I went spear fishing. I shot one too. Sweet action.

Today we swam to an island. It was a long swim.

Right now I am updating my blog because I felt like I needed to.

Tomorrow we are finishing installing a solar powered water heater.

In a few days Grace comes and I get to see a piece of home. Thank goodness.

The bahamas are good, though I have felt kinda depressed lately, missing home and family and friends and community. But I have also been reading Job which makes any disappointment or struggle I have look like sunshine. Its strange the way that suffering is a part of everyones life. Yet at the same time I almost see it as beautiful. Where else is my real character revealed? How else do I see my strengths and weaknesses? How else do I grow?

A new respect for Christ's sufferings develops through trials. Even if it is just homesickness. The love of God is shown more clearly.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Green Screens

The Beautiful Song That's Been Stuck in My Head for Days

Wednesday, June 30, 2010


These days I'm reminded of a man who once upon a time grew up in a place far, far away but not so different in culture, religion, constitution, citizenship, or bone structure.

On his 21st birthday in this faraway land, he went, as was the tradition at this passage to adulthood, to register at the Coordinating Office, which required signing various papers and cards and smiling for several photos. They then pointed him down a long, smooth-tiled hallway. He walked and walked, paused several times to rest, sweating an thirsty. Every twenty paces a small, clean sign in twelve-point Times New Roman said Water Ahead. He would have turned around, but it was blurry back that way.

Finally he arrived at a door. hen entered a room and stood alone, though it felt crowded with a million pairs of eyes watching and directing and waiting for him. He'd never been in such blaring silence. Tow elongated basins sat in the middle of the room. They were painted cheery colors but looked like the top and bottom of a coffin. He walked to the middle. A small, cardboard sign with twelve point Times New Roman told him what to do. He was twenty-one. He refused. he cursed. He paced. He kicked the wall. Eventually he resigned himself, figuring everyone else's birthday passed through here, and they all seemed fine afterward. He laid down on his back in the basin full of gunky plaster, like what they use to make a cast of your teeth before getting braces or a crown. Two faceless assistants came in and deftly lifted him out, leaving his impression in place. They they helped him lay face down in the other half, which had a special breathing apparatus. when they lowered him in, he began to hyperventilate; if felt constricting, and the breathing tube was too small. but when he finally relaxed into the gunk, it actually became soothing after all the walking, after all the fluorescent lights. The faceless assistants pulled him out, and he sat in the corner as the plaster dried. He was covered in the gunk. He fell asleep in the corner.

When he awoke, he was washed and clean, sitting on a bus that was arriving at this home. There awaiting him in his own front yard was himself- cast in ceramic. He inspected it, amused, but it was also unsettling. Then in the middle of the night, he felt something was going horribly wrong. He found a two-by-four and ran out his front door and started smashing the ceramic statues with his face on it. the legs started cracking, and a mask fell off. He laughed because in the moonlight the face now looked like the face of the country's most famous sports star. A few neighbors watched with passive condescension. He stopped for a second, relieved, like he'd gotten to something. But no. He started smashing again, splinters driving into his hands. The statue's legs kept cracking, and then another mask fell off to reveal his nation's first president. exhausted, with hands bloodied, he kept smashing through the faces of a top business mogul, a top religious leader, a top chef, a top model, a top designer and architect ... and eventually the whole statues shattered into small pieces on the ground. He briefly felt free and had a sudden urge to listen for God's whisper, but he only had enough energy to carry himself to bed.

When he awoke at dawn, he quickly swung the front door open only to see that the Coordinating Office had delivered a replacement statue made from his mold. Night after night he smashed it, and the masks fell off, in different orders at different times. A few months after its first appearance, when he saw he couldn't permanently smash it, he arranged the burning down of the Coordinating Office. It was charred badly, but the didn't even bother rebuilding. The statue kept reappearing in his front lawn. Things were coordinated but not centralized. then one day he simply went to bed early; when he left the house in the morning , he accepted its presence and kept going. Other times he took to dressing it up on his birthday or religious or national holidays, putting a wreath on it or some blinking lights. Once someone else tried to smash it, but rather than welcome the help and join in, he chased the guy with his two-by-four, ready to beat him for attacking it.

As he became a successful, well-respectred leader in the community, the young men and women in their late teens would gather round to hear his stories and learn how he navigated into his respectful position. They'd sit under the statue, which he never mentioned, which he admired but also resented because he suspected he shared his success and power with the statue. As he got still older, he would finish his talk about doing things the right way to get where they want to go- and then wistfully, as though it were a throwaway suggestion, he would say there is this story you might find interesting in the ancient Scriptures, if you can find it, about three young men close to your age named Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and a statue. And he would remember his two-by-four, wonder if he gave up too easily, hope that a few of the women and men would find the story and, quickly wiping a tear from his eye so it wouldn't be noticed, even wonder if it still might be destroyed.

-Kent Annan
From: Following Jesus Through the Eye of the Needle

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

News of the Day

News of the Day: Smashing your middle finger with a hammer is possible. And it hurts too.

Band of the Day: Sleeping at Last

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Glass Window (Smallest Landmass Between Two Oceans in the World)

Roof Framing

Bus at Sunset (Best Picture Ever)

Its strange to see what encourages me. A few moms from a team making eggs and bacon for breakfast. The sun dipping behind the clouds for a five minute rest. Or even a few minutes in the my room alone listening to music before I fall asleep.

The small things have been really helpful.

But that hasn't made it clear how Jesus is moving here. I definitely still feel like I haven't seen the spirit move in the clarity that I hoped for. And I'm definitely watching.

But of course its a little thing that encourages me.

The passage about The Sheep and The Goats has been running through my mind (Matt 25:31-46). I mean I probably could quote it word for word. But as I read it again a week or so ago, a different line stood out, not one of those proclaiming judgement or explaining the ways to treat the poor, the naked, the sick, the hungry, or the imprisoned, but this line:

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?''

The sheep didn't see Jesus clearly either. But they are rewarded and considered righteous. In this there is strength to go on and a reminder that though God may sometimes seem not present, he is in all things and through him all things hold together.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

I Promise.

Ill make another post soon. I promise. I have several things I want to post, but not enough energy to sit in the heat and type them.

In other news, I miss Ultimate. Really really badly.

In final news, Go USA!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

2 Week Update

So it has now been two weeks here in the bahamas, and, according to my calendar, I'll be home in exactly 6 weeks. It is amazing how time varies. I feel like I have been here forever, but I also feel like everything has flown by.

Anyways, here is what is up.

Work: I have done a lot of hard labor. With the team from Roswell Community Church in Atlanta, Georgia we mixed concrete and poured cores for two days. Basically, this meant that I spent 4-5 hours each day manning the concrete mixer, shoveling 5-gallon buckets of rock, sand, concrete mix, and filling up buckets of water. Then I had to pick them up and pour them in. Do you know exactly how much a five-gallon bucket of sand weighs? Me neither, but they are heavy. And those 94 pound bags of concrete get real heavy real fast.
We also spent one afternoon at the "special school" on the island which is basically the school for special needs children. Here they have about 12-15 special needs children with needs varying from ADHD to Autism to Down Syndrome in a one room school house taught by one man. These kids come from all over the 110 mile long island. We spent our time cleaning up the small lot around the building, just trying to make it somewhat clean as it was covered in trash, fallen leaves, and rock. What was real shocking was to watch how the Special Needs children responded to us. They came out in their full school uniforms and began to help us rake, shovel, weed, and clean. They worked so hard, and it was really funny to watch two of them take a wheel barrow to be dumped, one would walk in the front and steady it, while one would push in the back.
The man who runs the school said he had never seen them work this hard. He was legitimately shocked to see these kids rally to work. I think it is interesting how easy it is to make these kids feel loved. We just showed up, I never even spoke to one (special needs is not something i am good at) and they were so happy. After that day Mike thinks we are going to make it somewhat of a long term process.

Teams: So far we have had one team come down. They were an all guy team from ATL, and they were awesome. I thought it was so cool just to be able to meet people so easy, as they were literally just flown into my life. I really enjoyed them, and enjoyed working hard with them. And I taught everyone how to play Aces Up Solitaire, and that easily became the game of the week.

Personal: Life here isn't comfortable. Its really apparent how blessed I am in the states. I really miss air conditioning. Its amazing how hot I am all the time, living in 95 degree heat at a minimum allllllllll the time. I feel so weak when I really think about how blessed I am and how hard it is to live without a fridge that dispenses ice and water, a tv, air conditioning, and snack food.
Also it is real hard to be focused on Jesus here. I came here wanting to serve because I feel like this is something that Jesus would have done. The whole giving of yourself thing. But instead of glorifying him in my thoughts and praying through all the hard work, I find myself longing for the next water break, my cold shower, and shade. It sure is hard to have a pure heart even though everything I am doing this summer is a result of how I wanted to serve him. Its also hard to have quiet time and even community is a struggle. I haven't really figured out if I am supposed to or even allowed to jump in on the teams group time.

Yet everything here is so pretty. The beached, the caves, the ocean, the sea, the rock, the trees, and even the bugs are brilliantly crafted. Brilliantly.

It looks like this week we will be framing a roof over a water cistern for the center. Cool.

Another one of my jobs is making a movie for each team that comes through. Apparently Ill be doing this forever even though I swore I'd never make another movie again after senior year.

I appreciate all of yall back home.

As a serious question, I've been puzzling through the concept of beauty. Cool process, I encourage you to think through it.

Sarah Johnson is the other intern. She's pretty cool. haha.

If any of you get the chance read Following Jesus: Through the Eye of the Needle by Kent Annan. Good book. Especially his short story in the middle.


Special School Kid Working Hard.

In The Cave With Roswell

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Piper, Wolfman, and Bahamas

Because God is unique as an all-glorious,
totally self-sufficient Being, He must be for Himself if He is to be for us. The
rules of humility that belong to a creature cannot apply in the same way to its
Creator. If God should turn away from Himself as the Source of infinite joy, He
would cease to be God. He would deny the infinite worth of His own glory. He
would imply that there is something more valuable outside Himself. He would
commit idolatry.

- John Piper


I think Wolfman is on his way back. The absolute worst part about the Bahamas is the bathroom. I step in there and I sweat immediately. I hop out of the shower (which is always cold, thank goodness) and I sweat. I brush my teeth and I sweat. For some reason it is always, always, hot and with 100% humidity in there. And because I use and electric razor, and don't like razor burn from sweat immediately after shaving, it looks like ill be doing less of it. Apparently the full moon is rising.


Still Doing What I Love

Good Ole' Concrete

Monday, June 14, 2010

Bahamas by the numbers

Eluthera length (miles)- 110ish
Population- 8000
Average Temp- 90+
Amount of water I drink daily- 130+ oz
Hours of Sleep I get- 7
Hours of sleep I need- 9
Amount of times I miss people at home- 1000+
Amount of sweat i produce daily- uncountable
Amount of times I've listen to Pittsfield by Sufjan- 30+
Number of Emails i want to send- 6
Number of Emails I'll manage to send tonight- 1 (maybe)
Number of people on Roswell (current team)- 6
Number of people on next team- 23
Number of people on Grace team- 40
Amount of world cup I've watched- 0
Number of times power has gone out- 1
Number of buckets of sand, rock, water, and cement i lifted today- 40ish
Number of Bahamian Weddings attend- 1
Number of jellyfish stings- 0
Number of books read- 1
Number of times I have wanted to rest and read but haven't- 3

Number of bugs- toooooo many

In other news, I got to throw a frisbee today.

Everyone whos been emailing me, I love you. I promise I'll email back. Eventually.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Song of the Week.

Song of the Week: Pittsfield by Sufjan Stevens

There is no song more soothing and calming. It mixes fear, pain, love, and desire and blends an artistic interpretation of chaos and calm.

Saturday, June 12, 2010


So it looks like i'm going to be exhausted this summer.

Quick Update:

Instead of getting to watch the soccer game I have been dreaming off the past two months, I went to a Bahamian Wedding. It was interesting, ask me about it one day. I was ok with missing the game because i am a big boy.

My OCD + Exhaustion has been kinda hard the past two days. The wedding reception was held here in the center and that took its toll on me. However I am bossing my anxieties. Byaaahhhh!

I have been placed in charge of the Caribbean Ministries Association Twitter and Facebook page. I sure hope I manage to get it all done....

I miss home some too.

Its still hot.

Im still sweating.

The beach is still pretty.

The bugs are still bad.

I have to read a lot before I can go to bed.


Thursday, June 10, 2010

Pictures Round 2

Front yard.


Club Med.


If you've got something to say feel free to leave a comment.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Tools and Race

So today I did something I'm really good at.

Alright, so you remember that scene in Elf? Ya know the one where the black guy who runs the North Pole at the department store walks in to see all the setup that Buddy did for Santa? Yeah that whole setup thing was what i did today. Except instead of christmas decorations, I organized tools. And there was no comedic relief from a department store employee. But seriously, I spent 6ish hours all alone in a large tin trailer (maybe a semi?) sorting and organizing tons and tons of tools, hardware, concrete mix and the like. Hard, hot work, but I actually enjoyed it.

Ok, some more cultural insight.

Eleuthera has a relatively large population of Haitians. Apparently they'll be the majority on Eleuthera by 2020. I would have never guessed, but really am anything but shocked. We actually went to a Haitian Church on Sunday. It was pretty much a one room church, with no air conditioning or fans. And it was full. They actually had somewhat of a modern band with a drummer, a guitarist, bassist, and keys. However they were never, ever on tune. I didn't know anyone could play a whole song out of tune, but they did it like 4 times! And even more it sounded good! They sang everything from memory, and it was all in French Creole, but of course they played amazing grace, and I got to sing along in English.

What struck me the most about this church, was their joy. They truly seemed happy. Their worship was so sincere. Afterwards (and somewhat during) they talked about the monetary need they as a church has. They are working really hard to get AC, because it is just too hot in the building, some of the women and children had to sit outside due to the heat. They also are trying to get their bus fixed and build a small edition so they can have Sunday school. But the best part was just how confident the pastor was in God to cover their financial needs. He told us afterwards that there is always financial need, but he always covers it. And he never stopped smiling.

What blows my mind even more is how happy the Haitians are in light of how they are treated here. Apparently the Bahamians are racist towards the Haitians. Legally the Haitians earn 50% what the Bahamians earn when working side beside, the Haitians can't be there own boss, and they have to pay $1500 a year for a work visa. Thats a ton when they aren't making much. Though I haven't seen the racism first hand, I have seen the Haitian joy, and it really blows my mind.

The Haitians are also super hard working. They walk around with their machetes and use them to clear all their land out and grow food. Apparently only the haitians farm, and they are the only people who work like that in the fields so that's one way of context I can tell them apart.

One final thing, Charlie is our gardner round here. He takes care of the land in front of the Fastzkie house and around the center. And he is the happiest man i've ever met. He doesn't have much, but he has Jesus.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Oh happiness.

1. The longing to be happy is a universal human experience, and it is
good, not sinful.

2. We should never try to deny or resist our longing to be happy, as
though it were a bad impulse. Instead, we should seek to intensify
this longing and nourish it with whatever will provide the deepest
and most enduring satisfaction.

3. The deepest and most enduring happiness is found only in God.
Not from God, but in God.

4. The happiness we find in God reaches its consummation when it
is shared with others in the manifold ways of love.

5. To the extent that we try to abandon the pursuit of our own pleasure,
we fail to honor God and love people. Or, to put it positively:
The pursuit of pleasure is a necessary part of all worship and
virtue. That is:

The chief end of man is to glorify God
enjoying Him forever.

-From Desiring God by John Piper

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Bahamas Day One- Words

So I made it, safe and sound. And currently I am just kinda in culture overload mode. I have been doing my best to process as much as I can and learn as much as I can. Here’s what I got:

Eleuthera is a 110 mile long island, with about 8000 inhabitants, and between 15-30 little settlements. This is way smaller than Clemson, population wise.

Where we are staying is basically a really old coral hill. My back yard is actually thousands of years of old dry coral. Ballin.

Event oriented society opposed to a time oriented society. We’ll see how this plays out for me.

Everyone knows everybody.

They drive on the left side of the road, and the driver’s side is still on the left side.

They eat a lot of conch. Conch salad, conch fritters, other conch that I haven’t tried yet.

They Bahamians really like to party. And I mean alcohol, music, dancing, food. Often there is a beauty pageant involved in the party. According to the people I am with, there is a big disconnect between how they are at church and how they are outside of it. Apparently they have a big party from Good Friday through Easter Sunday Morning, and then roll up into church. This, just reminds me of America.

The beach is gorgeous. We went to one on the Atlantic side, and the sand was so white. And the grains were huge. Much better than SC beaches.

Bahamians have an islander accent similar, but different enough, to your stereotypical Jamaican accent.

Quick storytime:

Tonight we went to the Pineapple Festival in a little town up the road. There was food, lots of people, and a good many drunks. It was really interesting as there was a substantial group of white people throughout the crowd. (Understand Eleuthera isn’t really a tourist island.) Initiatly the big thing was this Dj. He was playing lots of random American pop music; Lady Gaga, Black Eyed Peas, Rhianna, ect. It was really interesting to see all the Bahamians singing along to these songs that are all over America. But the best part was the dude would like talk over the songs on the mic every 15 seconds. Sooooo funny.
Anyways, eventually the draw became “The Miss Pineapple Princess Pageant” for girls aged 12-15. There were four contestants and they danced and gave speeches in various outfits. Standard pageant business. It was interesting as it was like the big thing and everyone was into it. We left while the pageant had probably another 2 hours left. The party will go on to the wee hours of the morning.

I am loving it here.

Scripture of the day:

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I like it because it’s a cyclical promise. Haha

Much love everyone.

Bahamas Day One- Photos

Hidden Beach 1

Hidden Beach 2

Hidden Beach 3

Tiny Plane

Why I hate airplanes. (This is before the dude in front of me leaned his seat back...)

Friday, June 4, 2010

So I found this poem...

William Cowper’s Hymn: God Moves in a Mysterious Way

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Furious Love

Really great documentary on spiritual warfare. This dude went into "the darkest spiritual climates on earth," places like caste filled india, several witchcraft festivals, the heroin filled dump in madrid, prostitution filled amsterdam and thailand, and the deep into africa. He went there and they just loved people with no hidden agenda. Its super cool to see just who God is and what he can do.

I really encourage you to watch it.

Friday, May 28, 2010


You're still there behind the clouds.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

What's Going On

I figured it be nice just for me to give a little update of whats going on in my life.

First of all, I leave within two weeks for the Bahamas. I am spending a little less than two months there interning with Caribbean Ministries Association. My job will principally be to direct the groups that come in and kind of lead them in whatever way life demands. The groups will be doing a lot of construction and also leading vbs and camps and such with the kids on the island. I am ecstatic to go and serve and really hope that the lord raises up peace, wisdom, strength, and motion in me that I may not be a stagnant person on the island but dramatically seek out and build up his kingdom. I honestly have no clue what to expect in the way of daily life or culture, but I certainly have seen the lord preparing me for this trip.

The island we will be staying on is Eleuthera. It is freaking gorgeous. Apparently it is around 100 miles long, but only a mile or two wide at its largest points. When I was looking into and thinking about applying for the internship, I found on the internet that some magazine had ranked it in its top 25 sexiest beaches, whatever that means. Personally I am confused at how a beach can be sexually attractive, but maybe I am just weird. And a group last year definitely saw people filming a tyler perry movie on the island.

Anyways I would appreciate prayer. Thats a very general statement as I would appreciate it equally as much when I am doing the whole college thing. But this is a special occasion, and if you would like to pray for me, do it to it.

As for what I have been doing, the most appropriate answer is not much. I haven't had a job for may, thank goodness, so i've just been hanging around town, playing disc golf and ultimate, and reading. I've also started teaching myself guitar, just in time to go away for two months and not play.

But I really did just finish the Chronicles of Narnia series. And dang they were good. I mean I remember reading them back in elementary school or early middle school and liking the stories and books and all, but I truly appreciate them now. The method in which C.S. Lewis takes on an allegorical description of the most important and best story ever really astounds me. I really enjoyed the way he described Aslan (God/Jesus, who in the world of Narnia is a lion). Things like "terrible but good" and "beautiful but fearsome" and just continual hedging of adjectives that show glory, power, tenderness, and love.

But my personal favorite is this:

"Aslan a man!" Mr. Beaver said sternly. "Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea. Don't you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion—the Lion, the great Lion."

"Ooh!" said Susan, "I'd thought he was a man. Is he--quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."

"That you will, dearie, and no mistake," said Mrs. Beaver, "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else just silly."

"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.

"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver. "Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

How beautiful and true is that!? The God I serve is not safe. At the base of the Mount Sinai, we see the Israelites fear God's voice.

Exodus 20:18-19 (right after Ten Commandments are given, before Moses goes up the mountain.)
18 When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance 19 and said to Moses, "Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die."

Yet this is the same God that comes to Elijah not in a fire, earthquake, or storm but a gentle whisper (1 Kings 19: 11-13).

Our God is not safe. He has power to kill, cause storms, cause plagues, bring down fire, topple buildings, and end this world as we know it. But this is the same God who comes in whispers, calms the storms, heals the sick, comforts the hurting, and redeemed us all. He is good.

To finish my ramblings of Narnia, all I have to say is after I finished reading The Last Battle, I was super jacked about eternity. Then I read Psalm 72 and was even more excited. Nothing can compare to what is in store for his kingdom.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Best of Charleston

We went to Chucktown last weekend. Here's some of the best pictures:

At the Park at Sunset.


Group Shot

Skim-boarding away.

Tim and Maggie and the starfish.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

La Voz

I get ma'amed a lot.
Drive throughs, random telephone calls, ordering pizza. I dunno what it is, but apparently through communication mediums with strangers when I try to talk polite I sound like a chick. Bummer huh?

But here's the deal. It can bother me. I mean think about it. It is not affirming to a 19 year old guy to get told "Yes ma'am" in all seriousness by a guy who's getting ready to make me a large cheese pizza. It's depressing, its insulting. It makes me feel inadequate, unmanly, and self-conscious.

But why? Why do I choose to let my identity be controlled by people I don't know? Why is my response to something so silly, so serious and drastic?

Here is the thing, instead of feeling self-pity and feeling that I have been wronged, God has been moving my heart. I have been feeling convicted of my fear and feeling of annoyance.

How does my voice affect who I am? How does being called ma'am change who I am inside? How can I be brought to a state of depression by someone making a simple mistake?

My voice can't change me. Getting ma'amed can't change me. My self-consciousness only has the power that I give it.

So what happens now? I get to choose. (You do too.) Do I empower myself to continue in hurting and debilitating my mind?
Nah, that's dumb. It's clearly and empty method when broken down.

So instead I choose to let my identity be a part of something bigger; Jesus. And the even better thing is this falls in line with my nature. Men (and Women) find their identity in who they are told they are. Instead of being told I am a "ma'am" I get to be told that I am loved, redeemed, and being built to do big things.

How much better is that?

Bottom line: My voice is not my identity. I am letting go of my identity, and letting it get wrapped up in something greater than me; Jesus. I now also like swing dancing.

Friday, May 7, 2010



A lone drum beats a simple rhythm
A basic beat fills the room,
The drum set joins in and the noise grows
Music is born from the silence.

Add in a djembe, break out the congas
Hammer out the sound that mixes in the air
Complexity from uncomplicated components
Let the circle continue in its endless cycle.

The musicians express it without words
Feelings move by the thumps of the bass drum
By the tone of the djembe life is shared
All eyes are closed but the bond is seen.

A lone drum beats in its cage.
A steady, somber beat.
Another one nearby pounds from inside.
Together the two rhythms intertwine.

As more trapped drums join in,
Like the drum circle, the community grows
And so does the music, gracious on the ears
Together, a beautiful rhythm to live by.

And with you my imprisoned heart is free.
For you alone set my drum alive
You fill my blood with a rhythm of eternity
Your body loudly beats your love.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Saturday, April 17, 2010

Wrote this a while ago

Wrote this a while ago, thought I'd post it anyway.

Where shall I flee?
Men to my left, an Army pursuing
A squadron right, and a minefield looming
How can I escape my enemies?

I run and I pant
I work hard every day
Yet I fall down, my legs can’t carry me
I fight a loosing battle.

Hounded by these devils and demons
Tempted to stand and die in my pride
I make a choice.
On my own I will never survive.

As I stand ready to die
For my heart to beat its last
The oasis in the desert appears
A light before me shines.

I greet Death joyfully.

Yet I finally truly live.

The heart that was mine is no more.
My enemies fall to the left and the right.
Behind me they tremble, turn, and run
Apart from you I was broken too.

I was lost and in despair,
Stricken with iniquity
Yet when I gave my heart to You,
You forgave and bought me.

Not by the blood of my enemies,
But purchased by your very own.
The Lamb of God, the Son of Man
I will follow daily.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


Just a reminder that he is good.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

New News.

Two things happened today:

1. I threw a hole in one in disc golf.

2. I was reminded that when I get really excited I take my shirt off. Quickly.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Vocab Lesson

Fun words that we should use more often:

intransigent- (Adj or noun) refusing to compromise

din- a loud noise

callipygian- having shapely and attractive buttocks

pervade- to become spread through out

belligerent- inclined to fight, warlike

indignant- (adj) characterized with strong displeasure at something unjust

defenestrate- to throw from a window

exiguous- meager

cozen- to cheat

propinquity- nearness

vilipend- to depreciate, regard as worthless

Friday, March 19, 2010


I feel like I am supposed to write. And I don't know why, its certainly not my gift.

I have nothing written to share, but hopefully soon I will.

And hopefully I'll figure out why I feel encouraged to write.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Apply to below post.

Thought this applied to the below post.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A Short Reflection On Loss

My thoughts, brief and not thought out completely, of the past 5 minutes:

Loss and suffering are hard and difficult things. But they are very much a reality in a fallen world. The question is not are we, as people, going to experience loss, pain, and suffering, but how do we respond when we see it.

I believe that loss must not be overlooked. It must be accepted and appreciated. Death creates a hole in your being. You may fill it with what you choose. But fill it with more things that result only in more pain, more loss, and more suffering and your being erodes.

Fill it with the Spirit. Fill it with Jesus.

What's more beautiful than life from death?
What better to fill gaping sores from pain and loss than the God who conquered death itself?

1 Corinthians 15: 31
2 Corinthians 4: 20-12

Sunday, March 7, 2010


It's almost spring break. My mind is barely holding together. I have three tests this week.

Let's do this.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


This is my prayer:
That I may see you more.
That the blinds may be lifted from my eyes.
That your beauty would be present in my life.
That your love would keep me warm.

Father, my eyes are blind.
Yet I am not my eyes.

This is my prayer:
That my hands and feet be steady.
That they may work for you.
That I may serve you to the world.
That through me your love would keep us all whole.

Father, my hands are tied, my feet can't move.
Yet I am not my hands or feet.

This is my prayer:
That my desires would be worth.
That I should strive for gold.
That I may not be choked among thorns.
That your love would keep me pure.

Father, I am stuck in this world.
Yet it's desires can't confine me.

Your hope is real.
Your love is real.
Your faithfulness more consistent than the waves.
I am not my body, not my sight, not my own.
I am Yours.
Yours alone.

Take me.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Today's Question

A thought that's been on my mind, and I believe it is very much for a reason:

What makes a male a true man, at what point does he become a true man, and how does he know?

The same question could be asked for a woman.

Possible elaboration/attempted answer later, and maybe a poem.


Sunday, February 14, 2010

A By No Means Authoritative List of My Ten Favorite Albums at the Moment

Been a debate raging in my mind the past couple days. And in order to try and give my brain some peace I thought I'd go ahead and make a quick list and point out somethings about each album.

I'd also like to point out that other than the top two, this list is very likely to change and rearrange, and I only included albums I actually own, so "greats" like Paul Simon's Graceland, The Who's Tommy or Who's Next, or Steely Dan's Aja didn't get the chance.

I also choose to ignore incomplete albums I own and greatest hits, because they're, well, not albums. There compilations, and not designed with an album oriented mindset.

Honorable Mentions: The Outsiders- Needtobreathe, Third Eye Blind- Third Eye Blind, Katy Lied- Steely Dan, Royal Scam- Steely Dan, Are You Experience?- Jimi Hendrix Experience
I love all of these albums. The Outsiders doesn't stand out enough in my eyes to make the cut, though. Both Steely Dan Albums are phenomenal and Steely Dan probably is in my top 5 favorite bands, but the songs from each run together and I couldn't tell you which song was where. Third Eye Blind just missed the cut, originally I had them at number 10, but then I realized post-teenage angst and drugs makes for a catchy album, but it still lacks a little substance in my mind, though being a favorite of mind with no weak song. Finally, Hendrix is my boy, and fighting with my other boy Clapton for best guitarist ever. But he suffers from Steely Dan syndrome, I got all his stuff at one time and listen to it on shuffle, the album doesn't shine.

10. The BQE- Sufjan Stevens
A full-length symphony composed by Sufjan who took his motivation from the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. It flows together very well, heck its a symphony- it flows perfectly. It also manages to mesh classical music with violins, oboes, horns, and cellos with computer generated synth. And it sounds sooo good. A great album to study too, remarkably well done, done by an extremely talented musician.

9. Abbey Road- The Beatles
A classic. I only own 4 of the Beatles kajillion albums, plus a greatest hits compilation, and this one shines above Revolver, Rubber Soul, and Help!. With its underlying and sometimes abruptly overt psychedelia and less-poppy feel than their earlier stuff, Abbey Road is a great work of art. And the last song stretch from Sun King to The End is wonderful and changed the way music was done for future generations in the ways of flowing one song to the next and more importantly its benefits (along with the rest of the Beatles albums) to stereophonic sound.

8. A Collision (or 3+4=7)- David Crowder Band
A phenomenal album mixing alternative rock, sharp beliefs, and movement. A Collision is an album broken into four parts, each with a distinct feel, each getting a little darker than the last, till the cinematic climax capped after a staged interview about the album. Filled with little interludes and passionate songs, this somewhat concept album conveys more emotion than possibly any other on this list.
7. IV (Untitled)- Led Zeppelin
This Led Zeppelin album is great. Bottom line.

6. Mutemath- Mutemath
My favorite album for a long time, Mutemath's self titled album notches a safe spot at number 6. This album has one of my favorite qualities, it flows from song to song. And in this album the simple lyrics meet complex drumming for an original sound. And the drumming is good, the drumming is soooo good. Stall Out is my personal favorite from the album.

5. Seven Swans- Sufjan Stevens
Sufjan Stevens' trek into the rather empty genre of banjo based christian music. A large majority of the songs are based on his spirituality and stories from the bible. But dude, he is innovative, majestic, and captivating in his musicianship and lyrics. The passion he has for the Lord is astounding and the fact that he did everything on the Album blows my mind. This possibly should have been higher, but I was scared he'd crowd the top out. Climatic builds based on vocals and designed simplicity stress just how great he is.

4. Lost and Gone Forever- Guster
Every song on this album is solid gold and catchy. And not the annoying catchy. I always smile when I find out I have one of the eleven songs in my head. A must have. Plus the dude played all of the drums without sticks, come on give them some lovin'.

3. The Dark Side of the Moon- Pink Floyd
Often herald as the best album of all time by many rock fans, Dark Side of the Moon places third on my list. Its got flow, its got a soul filled female vocal solo, its got great lyrics, its got a balling album cover, its got a weird connection to The Wizard of Oz, and it definitely is a great piece of music history, influencing many if not all modern concept artists.

2. Illinois- Sufjan Stevens
Sufjan made a hat trick on the list. This album was fighting hard for the top spot, but had to settle for simply because The Joshua Tree is goodness. But Sufjan does it again with soothing melodies, an eclectic mix of instruments, a wonderful concept, histories mixed with personal experience, and a beautiful, beautiful passion for the lord underlying every song. The album pierces the heart. Not to mention it might be the most original album of all time; in all of my searching I have found nothing that sounds like Sufjan.

1. The Joshua Tree- U2
I listen to this on repeat. Often. It soothes, it moves, it rocks. Bono and the boys haven't done anything near as glorious as this since its release. Every song is solid and every song exemplifies emotion to make you feel how you want to feel. It cuts into you. And dude, it flows so well. Well done, well produced, I applaud U2 for this wonder.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Some Questions

I have some questions, questions that are both plaguing and absurd. Both legitimate and silly.:

What are my gifts?
What exactly does a kumquat taste like?
Why does art pierce the soul?
Why does the best music move emotions, yet we cannot move ourselves towards goals?
Why credit photographers for capturing beauty, instead of the beauty itself?
What fruit do I bear?
What constitutes an intellectual? Is it a college education or is it something more?
Why do we fear and worry?
How can I live in a campus of 20000 smart people and live in a giant bubble from the outside world?
What constitutes maturity? Then is maturity good?
Everyone agrees that U-6 Rec Soccer is not about winning, exactly what changes between this and high school, college and pro sports?
Who and what have I passed by with blind eyes? What and who have I seen too much into?
Why is it easier to lose stuff in a dorm room than in my entire home?
What do I waste?
Why is wikipedia not an accurate source if it has sightings at the freaking bottom?
Why the freak does it rain so much in Clemson?

Why do I let my heart grow hard, selfish, and empty, when glory is only a choice away?
Why do I fight a losing battle, when victory is near, present, and better?

Romans 8:28-39


Saturday, February 6, 2010

Alright, I did it. But I'm not joining Twitter.

So after puzzling over this for a while, I have decided to make a blog. I have a lot of thoughts and ideas and poems in my head and I want to write them down and get them out. Yet, I struggle to get myself to do it solely for myself and my benefit. So I figured I'll make a blog, let whoever wants to read it, and let my mind and my heart go to work.

I am not promising anything beautiful here, in fact I bet a lot of what will go up hear will be crummy and suck, yet I wish to get myself out there to the large crowd of no one who I expect to read this.

Expect some poetry, some lyrics, some analysis, some deepness, and some of my shallowness. And if I write, find, or think of anything worth sharing it will be here.

Yet I desire for my heart to be for God and to seek his kingdom, so if you choose to walk through life with me, our story will be shown in snapshots.


And I'm not joining Twitter.