Alright, I'm super sorry its been so long since I've done a real blog post. I feel obligated to do one, though I really dunno if anyone even really reads this. But here it goes, I'm gonna try and write one.
Here's the thing. I'm burnt out of being here. I have learned a lot here in Eleuthera, and have had a good experience, I am just tired of it here and miss home. This is strange for me. I don't feel like I really ever get homesick, but that's the best description of the way I have felt the past 2ish weeks. The other thing is that it is nothing that anyone has done, nobody is causing me to feel this way, I just do. And that bothers me, I mean the fact that I dunno what is causing this feeling is troublesome to me extremely logical mind. Oh well. What can you do. Anyways, I'll be home in 9 days, and I am super stoked for it. Then theres a short break and its back off to Clemson. Talk about looking forward to something.
But here's what I guess I am going to write about tonight:
What I've learned this summer:
How to: use a jackhammer, use a power drill, use a skill saw, frame a roof, sheet a roof, shingle a roof, grout tile, mix cement, spearfish, make slideshow videos (sigh...), interact with teams, not get oneself stung by jellyfish when snorkeling, not get sunburned, stay super hydrated, and go hard on little bug spray.
I have not learned how to catch mice/rats the buggers are always getting away.
God has taught me several things.
First, he reinforced the extent to which my happiness needs to be found completely in him. Then he reminded me that it's not easy. It's amazing how feeling homesick makes this evident. However, I've also been reminded that Christianity is a life filled with suffering.
Initially, I had typed about how my life had been easy up to this point, but then I remembered that, well, my life has had its fair shares of trials, from family deaths to church struggles to change. But for whatever reason, despite the fact that in the scheme of things, the Bahamas should be one of the easier things I have had to deal with, it has been the hardest thing I have ever done. But Jesus did it with me.
I have also been shown through the scriptures that even if I don't feel like God is working in and around me, he is. (See the post about The Sheep and the Goats, then read the book of Ester and count how many times God is mentioned.)
I have been convicted about how I struggle with creating, pushing for, and striving for community. I know that I want community, I want it so bad. So bad. But I tend to sit around and idealize it instead of throw out my pride and speak the name of Jesus. I am seriously looking forward to combatting this problem at Clemson in, oh, 3 weeks. I definitely saw some of this in 1 John 1: 3-4, 7.
Finally, and by finally I mean I am tired of thinking and typing but have lots of other things to say, the spirit really has stressed the extent to which we, and by we I mean I, need to remember the Gospel. All the time. If I don't wake up and remember the way that Jesus loved/loves me, If I don't wake up and remember who I used to be, If I don't wake up and desire to know God personally, then I will not worship, nor love the rest of the world. Without the Gospel nothing I do has any value. Without this foundation, none of my other knowledge can mean anything, let alone be applied.
Hopefully what I have learned here can teach someone else something.
Song of the week:
Holland by Sufjan Stevens