Saturday, December 17, 2011

Since its christmas time, I feel a christmas post is warranted:

First here is some Christmas songs that shouldn't be:

1. Santa Baby
I don't think whoring yourself out to santa is the best way to get what you want (a yacht, a ring, and a baby blue convertible...) Even if the lyrics never intentionally say "momma wants to get with Santy", it seems pretty dang implied.

2. Christmas Shoes
If you don't remember this, watch it here.
Never has there ever been a more depressing christmas song. I won't start on the musical side of it.

3. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus:
Here is thing, for those kids who believe in Santa Claus, to see Mommy kissing him would be, um, how do I say this, crushing? Not only is your mother having what seems to be a one night fling, if not an affair, its with some guy in a red jump suit. So who's your daddy now?
Yet, its played off like it is a jolly good thing to see Momma and Santa making out under the mistletoe. The lyrics say, 
"Oh, what a laugh it would have been, 
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night!"

Daddy would have laughed that Mommy was being unfaithful with a large, perpetually old, mythical man!

Sure its implied that Santa Claus really is daddy because Santa isn't exactly real. But still, I'm going to call not cool. If our culture is going to lie to everyone under the age of 10, they should at least do it so that kids don't have to be crushed by divorce AND lies.

4. Last Christmas:
Originally written by George Michael for Wham! so you know its good.

5. What Can You Get a Wookie for Christmas:
Does Christmas even exist in Star Wars world? Wasn't it a long long time ago, in galaxy far far away, ya know, before Jesus?

6. Anything by Alvin and the Chipmunks, for obvious reasons.

One Christmas song that is so intentionally horrible it should continue being:

Yes please.

Now, for a short rant on a commercial series:
It's Game on Santa is the worst, worst possible way to sell your products.

Apparently people who give you nice stuff for free are hateable purely based on their physique. Or maybe Mommy is jealous after Santa went back home to Mrs. Claus after their brief one night make out session last christmas. She gave him her heart, yet he gave it away. Yet instead of giving it to someone else this Christmas as Good Ole George Michael would, she's taking it to him with a best buy beat down.

Oh and she hates her dog.

Like I said, bad commercial.

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